Gone
by Angel Jade1
Summary: Everything from the smallest discomfort to the greatest of losses merged into one black hole that had swallowed her insides until nothing was left. (DARK THEMES) Buffy/Angelus


Title: Gone  
  
Author: Angel Jade  
  
Rating: R for themes  
  
Warnings: Mentions of rape and torture, violence, language and angst  
  
Spoilers: Season 4 up to Calvary (ats), no actual Buffy spoilers.  
  
Pairings: Angelus/Buffy  
  
Summary: Everything from the smallest discomfort to the greatest of losses merged into one black hole that had swallowed her insides until nothing was left.  
  
Setting: Season 7/4, post Calvary (Ats)  
  
Feedback: angel-jade@buffyrocks.co.uk  
  
Distribution: If you've had my permission before, you have it now. Anyone else, ask first please.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own the characters in the fic, nor do I make money from borrowing them.  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Buffy couldn't decide which was worse. Hearing Spike's pained cries for hours on end...or watching the deathly silence that wore her little sister's face. Maybe it was seeing the body of the young redhead she'd known and loved for seven years. Could have been meeting the demon that was everything her Xander was and yet had nothing of him remaining.  
  
There was no way to judge anymore. Everything from the smallest discomfort to the greatest of losses merged into one black hole that had swallowed her insides until nothing was left.  
  
She was empty. Because nothing remained.  
  
They were gone. They were all gone.  
  
Willow had gone first. Maybe because she was the more powerful of them now...or maybe because he'd planned it that way. It really wasn't important.  
  
Dawn went missing soon after.  
  
That was enough to pull Buffy's world inside out for the thousandth time since her calling.  
  
Xander never returned from going to find her.  
  
Buffy didn't know it then, but he'd found her alright. It had cost him his humanity, but he'd found her.  
  
Days later he returned to ensure she knew that.  
  
He returned with a serious allergy to sunlight and scarier teeth. It was more than Buffy could handle.  
  
She called for Giles. She called for Angel. She even called for Faith.  
  
No one answered.  
  
She still wonders why.  
  
Spike appeared on her doorstep three days after Xander's visit. Bloodied and shaking, she'd foolishly helped him inside. She clung to him because he was the only one now. The only one left.  
  
But he lead her straight to him. Into the arms of the vampire she knew and reviled from years past.  
  
Into the arms of Angelus.  
  
Spike was rewarded with another black eye for his accomplishment. Angelus had no intention of praising the souled vampire for anything. His only intentions included pain, and he knew more about pain than any of them could have understood.  
  
Buffy was chained up, leaving no chance of escape. She was forced to watch as Angelus brought her sister to her.  
  
Dawn's face...but not Dawn. A lifeless doll perhaps, but the eyes retained no life. If she hadn't have walked in along side Angelus, Buffy wouldn't have believed she was still breathing. Every movement was automatic, every breath force of habit. Dawn sat where she was placed, opposite her restrained sister, and she simply stared ahead...seeing nothing and not wanting to, ever again.  
  
Buffy had thrust against the chains, calling out for her sister...shouting obscenities at her former lover until her voice no longer carried sound.  
  
And Angelus smiled. He watched Buffy's pain and her struggling until he grew bored, then turned his attention back to Spike.  
  
Three weeks later and Buffy stood limply, held only by the chains that bound her. Dawn never moved, never spoke...only breathed. Food had to be forced down her throat, as she made no effort to eat on her own. She was lost to the world. And Buffy wished she could have been there with her.  
  
Spike cowered in the corners when Angelus wasn't busy beating him. He muttered to himself, occasionally crying out for Buffy as if he didn't understand that she was only a few feet away. He responded only to Angelus' voice, and obeyed every word. He was gone.  
  
They were gone.  
  
Xander appeared occasionally, his eyes scouring Buffy's now naked and bruised body with interest.   
  
She felt sympathy for the faces she barely knew that were brutally raped and murdered before her. All were those she was born to protect. All were now dead. All had trusted the angel-faced vampire like she had. All had paid the price.  
  
Angelus enjoyed sharing the tales of pain with her. She, after all, was the only sane one left. The only one who could be hurt by the words he hissed in her ear as his hands grabbed at her breasts violently.  
  
But sanity only lasted so long. And Buffy knew she was losing hers with every rape, every comment...every word he inflicted on her. Whether she'd be broken like Spike or lost like Dawn, Buffy knew it was only a matter of time.  
  
Even if she broke free and staked him now...it wouldn't make a difference. There was nothing she could do to patch together the pieces of her life that he'd so cruelly shattered in so little time. Nothing could bring Xander and Willow back. Nothing could make Spike and Dawn smile again. And nothing could erase the memories of everything he'd done to her...and in front of her...and because of her...  
  
They were well and truly...gone.  
  
*****  
  
The End 


End file.
